From the astonishingly acrimonious asylum that is Paul’s desk:
“Write a blog post.” they said. “It’ll be fun!” they said.
Well, they didn’t say those things exactly. It was more along the lines of being able to engage with our
fans; that they might like to know more about us.
To be completely frank, that idea is both exhilarating and terrifying. See, there is more than one Paul.
The guy you see onstage, with the guitar and the singing and the bad puns and jokes, is one version; a
suit of armor if you will. It allows me to traverse into that more public space, out of my comfort zone;
meant to insulate me, to keep me from being too vulnerable. Because vulnerable means risk. Yeah,
there’s some issues there.
Deep down though, there is me, and I kinda like (most) people.
I can sit quietly observing for hours, whether in a cafe watching the passerby; in the pubs, taking note of
the patrons and how they act, react to each other or the staff; or even the rare occasions where it’s just a
social gathering taking in the conversations around me or a night at the club when I sit at the table
minding drinks of others out on the floor, and I capture the moment, journaling or writing new works –
which is a whole other can of worms I’ll dive into in a future post.
But for now I have this, the beginnings of a step forward into a space of “Hi, my name is Paul…”, and
what the hell am I even doing here?
I’m making music, that’s what. It is quite literally a passion for me. There is something so raw and
authentic in music that when done right, has such power over all of us.
It can catch us unaware, bring us to tears, galvanize our resolve.
It is there when we fall into love, affirm that love, crash out of love, and then help us put ourselves back
together enough to do it all the fuck over again.
It celebrates important moments of our lives. What would we have if not for Wagner’s “Here Comes the
Bride” (aka Bridal Chorus) or Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March”, originally composed for an 1842
production of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream? Elgar’s “Pomp and Circumstance” played at
most high school and collegiate commencements?
Rites feature certain melodies and lyrics meant to express beliefs and even mourn the loss or celebrate
the life of one passed. Anthems are prevalent in colleges and governments.
Music teaches us and sometimes music remembers for us. In one way or another, it’s been a constant in
my life, and I’m realizing that we’re partners in many ways.
So yeah, that’s what I’m doing here, along with some probably very much needed people time with y’all,
where I’m not just that guy up there.
And with that I say: Thank you all for being a part of this journey, not only for the band, but also for the
chance to just be me for a bit here and there.
